Yesterday one of the nurses I work with marveled at the fact that I have a 16-year-old. She asked me how I did it…when did I find time to study. I was a junior in college when I had him. I was a single mom and it was just me and him. My mom lived an hour and a half away. I finished my undergrad degree, then I moved to Baton Rouge (again, just me and him) for grad school. Somehow I got a Bachelors and a Masters, all with a kid in tow. And the truth is…I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I DID IT. I have no clue when I studied, when I wrote papers, when I slept. I don’t remember much of that time at all. But somehow I made it. I chalk it up to the grace of God. That must have been one of those times that Footprints talks about…when He carried me.
I need him to carry me now. I feel like I was more present and effective as a mother back then…when I knew nothing about everything. Now I feel like my kids are wild, I hardly ever see them, and my parenting lacks focus. Maybe that’s part of what comes with the territory when you have 3 kids (vs. just one). Whatever it is, I don’t like it.