The Oscars

$21 MILLION??

Yet we have men/women/children who don’t have enough to eat, who don’t have decent clothes, who don’t have homes…veterans who can’t get services that should just be automatic…people who are sick/dying because they don’t have access to reasonable health care. Every working Joe Shmoe pays taxes that have to fund government programs…but the people with money oozing out of their pores do THIS with what they have left over after paying their taxes. I don’t know what the answer is…but a $21 MILLION dollar party for people who are already multimillionaires makes me ill. Not every person who needs help, who doesn’t have life’s necessities is a government mooching deadbeat.

Instead of giving every nominee a $90,000 goody bag…give that money to food pantries, battered women’s shelters, orphanages, homeless shelters…

And WE need to stop drooling over these people as if they are demigods!!!

http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/7-shocking-facts-about-oscars

A True Test in Self-Control

tennis shoes[Note: Apparently the hyperlink ads are a necessary evil of having a free wordpress blog. I’m sorry.]

After about 3 weeks of abstaining from Facebook, I was approached by a friend/Beachbody Coach who was thinking of me. Our conversation ended with me signing up for a 30-day fitness challenge group. Part of the group participation involves checking in on FB daily, to touch base with other participants, and to experience increased support and accountability. While the FB part is not mandatory, it helps maintain focus and momentum…gotta keep my eye on the prize (gotta get my sexy back ;-)…although my sweet husband would say I never lost it). So…not only do I need to actually exercise daily AND eat better, but I also need to limit my FB time to JUST the group stuff.¬†Not only am I looking forward to the physical benefits, but hopefully the personal development that comes from actually exhibiting some self-restraint. ūüôā

Longing for MORE

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There are millions of people on Facebook; and they are on there for hundreds of reasons…not the least of which are networking, reconnecting, creeping. I LOVE Facebook! I LIVE on Facebook! Literally, my life is like a virtual Truman Show. While I don’t often do the super mundane daily play-by-play posts (“I’m awake.” “Driving to work.” “Eating lunch.” “Taking a shower.” etc), but I do give daily narratives on the day’s fiascos and triumphs…with pictures to boot. I post so much primarily for the benefit of my parents and grandparents who live far away and aren’t able to watch my children grow up in person. But, even with the largeness of my family, my 500+ Facebook friends certainly extend beyond just relatives.

There are several big reasons why I LOVE Facebook.

  • Keeping in touch with the family.
    As I said before, with so many of my family living in other states, Facebook provided a convenient setting for my loved ones to share in the joys of watching my children grow. I also was able to “meet” some of my cousins’ wives that I would have never become acquainted with otherwise (and see all of their children). Not only could my family keep up with me…but I could keep up with them!
  • Reconnecting with old friends.
    Facebook allowed me to touch base with people who I hadn’t seen in years. Perhaps it was an old friend who made an impact on my life during the brief time that our paths crossed. Or maybe it was someone I had passed in the hallways; I knew their name, but we never really spoke. Facebook helped me become better friends with some people, learning about the various things we had in common and giving support to one another. It also allowed me to reach out and give a virtual hug to people I had missed over the years.
  • Being inspired, amused, encouraged, and touched by¬†everyone’s stories, pictures, and experiences.
    Part of the reason I share so much is because I get so much from what everyone else shares. I love reading everyone’s stories of triumph, even if they aren’t personal stories (but especially when they are). I love all the inspiring pictures/quotes that people post. Some days I read just the right thing that speaks to me or my situation.
  • Normalizing this crazy thing called life.
    One of the main reasons why I’m such an open book is because I think that maybe other people have been in my situation, but they feel like they’re alone. We keep things inside, believing that we are the only ones who have walked the road we are on…when all the while, there are people all around us to help us. That’s why all those mom-blogs are so popular. When we realize that sometimes even the most perfect-seeming mom wants to run away from home, we don’t feel so bad for longing for some down time. I share my struggles so that others who struggle will not feel isolated, and maybe they will feel comforted by my words or reach out for support.
  • Witnessing the human experience.
    Bottom line, everyone has a story…and I love them all. I love observing people’s journeys; and, as evidenced by the popularity of Facebook (and especially the prevalence of people who don’t post but just read), I think it’s safe to say I’m not alone.¬†Even in my job I get enjoyment from listening to my patients and their families retell the tales of their lives. I love traveling the last leg of life’s journey with people. I love helping others navigate the winding road of dying and grief. I love helping people LIVE.

Which led me straight to all the reasons why I have to leave.

  • I process life in an edited format.
    I don’t vent on Facebook as honestly as I would 1:1 because so many people read my posts. Believe it or not, I keep most of my posts edited for mixed company. This means that I seldom let myself be truly, fully honest…keeping toxic remnant unwittingly bottled in.
  • Facebook gave me a false sense of friendship.
    While I had the illusion that my social needs were being met, outside of work & home, I have very little meaningful interaction with other people in real life. Not only that, but I felt like FB kept me overly attached to the goings on in my hometown and stunted my relationships here in FL. Regardless of where my friends lived, everyone got the same level of communication – Facebook posts. That’s great for long distance, but not for local. I want a BFF I can hang out with. I want a girlfriend with whom I can take turns watching each other’s kids. Those kinds of friendships don’t grow online…at least not for me.
  • I don’t give people individualized attention.
    While 2 of my 3 grandmothers are on FB, I very seldom (if ever) individually reach out to them. I figure they know what they need to know and if they want to talk to me, they know how to reach me. I talk to my patients more than my own grandparents. That’s a SHAME!
  • I live like I’m on reality TV.
    I have started approaching all my thoughts and life events as if they take place in a public forum. This is an artificial and insincere approach to life. I need to really LIVE, really be PRESENT, and not be mentally formulating how I’m going to post about this later.
  • I constantly feel inadequate and will never measure up.
    I compare myself to other people. My house. My marriage. My successes. My children. I will always do it…but I don’t need to do it on such a broad scale.

I don’t know where a hiatus from Facebook will bring me, but I have been contemplating deactivating for some time. Now is the time. I don’t think I could ever leave FB completely forever. But I definitely need to break away and focus on what is right in front of me. The people. The opportunities. The relationships. The LIFE!

 

It’s Been 2 Weeks

I don’t miss Facebook nearly as much as I thought I would, but I’m not ready to go back yet. The time I’ve spent away has been so incredible; I don’t want to lose my momentum! When I go back I want to be clear on the role Facebook will play in my life; I don’t want my world to revolve around it anymore. In the meantime, I’ve been busy living and having my spirit awakened. Life is good.

Day 1 without Facebook

I survived…but I reached for my phone at least 10 times during the day. When I didn’t go to Facebook, I noticed my thinking shifted back to the moment I was in. I also began thinking about some of my friends that I could/should/wanted to call. I didn’t because I feel like no one talks on the phone anymore; everyone is too busy. Maybe next time I’ll actually call.

My heart’s deepest desire

The following article is written by a young woman coming to terms with having ALS:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-spencerwende/still-lucky_b_3108170.html?utm_hp_ref=becoming-fearless&icid=maing-grid7%7Chp-laptop%7Cdl22%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D314050

Even though I help terminally ill people come to grips with their illness and focus on living each day until they are no longer living, becoming terminally ill has to be one of my worst fears. Ever since I became a mom, my prayer has always been “Dear God, please let me live long enough to see my children grow up.”¬† I want them to be old enough to not need a mom…not that such an age exists. But I want them to be able to remember me. I want them to know for the rest of their lives, based on their own personal experiences (versus being told by others), that I truly love them to heaven and back. I appreciate this woman’s honesty. I think I would probably wrestle with some of the same things. But I hope that, like her, at the end of the day, I could find my inner strength and commit to forging ahead…taking each day, each moment, each hug, each glance¬†captive and savoring it in my heart forever.

We should really strive to live each day like that anyway…